Possibilities - At Home

05.20.2003

I drive to work down a median divided street with two lanes on either side of the median. Monday morning, a car was driving along in the lane beside me. At the same street, we both slowed and turned simultaneously. The other car turning right, and me turning left. Somehow the symmetry of that moment pleased me, and I've thought about it every time I've past that spot this week. Strange the things we find soothing.

05.14.2003

Wow. I'm really realizing how exhausting it can be to have in-town guests. As much as I try to consider saying no, I seem unable to do it. I want to seem welcoming and to be available to those who love me, but at the same time my life is really not my own when we have guests. I think people just really don't realize the degree to which it creates disequilibrium for us to play the host. For one, our daily schedule is thrown into chaos as guests want to see the sights, eat out, stay up late, etc. Then there's all the money that we're spending that we wouldn't typically be spending. And of course, there's my own self-imposed stress that comes of wanting to have a neat and organized home (impossible when guests are in town). It's really just an overwhelming prospect, all around.

You know, it probably wouldn't feel SO frustrating if it were an occasional thing, but in talking to other people, I've realized that David and I have pretty much had a revolving door since we moved into our new house. We are either hosting out-of-towners, or we are thrown intensely into home improvements. We've really had so little time for us. It's a difficult situation because our guests aren't doing anything wrong; we're just having TOO MANY of them. So, Chris will come for a week in June. Possibly Jed for a week in July, and then we're done. Our doors are closed for 6 months at least! We're reclaiming our life. :-)

04.21.2003

Kaitlynn makes eyebrows like her Daddy. She squishes them together and makes an "I'm angry" face.

Ryan got a mystery package in the mail today. Dave got excited when the UPS man showed up, thinking that it would be the unicycle he just ordered. Only it turned out to be for Ryan. No return address, no card; so we're baffled. The label was a technology company in New Hampshire which only adds to the intrigue. To claim credit for this package, and thereby earn the thank you card from Kaitlynn, send us an email.

Katie came over today to help Ryan with nursing. Ryan was a little nervous that Kaitlynn wasn't getting a good latch because it hurts more than she expected it to. Katie said she was doing a great job and that it should hurt less now that her milk has come in. Unfortunately, that means the diapers get runnier and smellier too. lol. It was good to get to spend a little bit of time with Katie and Auntie Goree too. We don't see them nearly often enough.

04.20.2003

Happy Easter everyone! I've promised more details about Kaitlynn's birth to lots of people, so I though I'd go ahead and post them here.

Ryan did SO GREAT. Friday night contractions started becoming regular around 6pm. She slept between them from 7-10:30. I went to bed at 10pm. She woke me up at 2am because she'd started leaking again and the contractions were hurting BIG TIME. So, I got up and timed for two hours, during which she had a hot bath and tried lots of positions. She seemed 6-7 mins apart. At 4am, she started bleeding a little, so we decided to go to the hospital.

We got there at 4:50am. They put her in an exam room and said the doc would be in in a little bit. Ten minutes later, the nurse came back and Ryan said "I feel like I need to push." They examined her; she was 10cm and ready to GO. They skipped all the paperwork, and rushed her stretcher down to delivery. The baby came in in less than an hour from the time we arrived.

So funny because she wanted to go natural (without drugs/epidural), but she thought she might feel better just SAYING "Give me some drugs." So, we made up a code word (monopoly) that meant "No, really, I mean it." So, in the car on the way there, she says: "I know we're only just starting and all, but -MONOPOLY- when we get there, I want drugs." So we arrive and she's 10 and so they say "No drugs; no point; too late." So she did without. I'm so proud of her. She did such a good job.

She did get an episiotomy though. Funny how your priorities change. The doc mentioned the possibility and I asked Ryan if she wanted me to let doc know she wanted to avoid. She said "I really don't care what they do, as long as the baby comes. If that makes it easier, fine." So, they did one. Ryan said later it made a lot of difference because while she was pushing it burned so bad and after the episiotomy, the burning stopped.

Her doctor and nurses were great! She had one nurse, Lisa, who held her head and counted with her through contractions. She would tell her to push harder or wait. At one point, Ryan looked over at her and said "I like you!" to her! So cute. Everyone in the room chuckled.

When baby came, we were all shocked to heear "It's a girl!" David cut the umbilical cord. (I didn't watch that part!) And he videotaped the birth for Danny. Then he and I got to give baby her first bath! Then she followed mommy to her postpartum room. The nice thing is that she gets to stay in the room with Ryan during the entire hospital stay.

Breastfeeding's going well so far. The lactation consultant is out for the duration of Ryan's stay, but she did a pretty good job today all by herself. Kaitlynn nursed 6 times for 40 minutes each. :-)

Kaitlynn is so beautiful. (Unbiased opinion! lol)

04.19.2003

Kaitlynn Madison was born this morning (4/19/03) at 5:47am. She weighed 7lbs 8oz, and measured 20 1/4" long. She has a full head of blonde hair. :-) Welcome to the world, tiny baby.

Ryan was a real trooper. She endured all of her contractions at home, and by the time we got to the hospital, she was ready to push. Kaitlynn was born less than an hour after we arrived.

Dave's going to get some photos up later today for me. :-)

03.9.2003

Ryan's Baby Shower was a HIT! There were 18 guests plus Ryan and me. I used a rubber ducky theme, which worked out to be adorable. My absolute favorite decoration was the entry table. I have a room just off the front door that hasn't been finished and still has boxes we haven't unpacked. It's the first room you see when you walk in and it has a wide double doorway. I borrowed my sister-in-law Suzanne's Rubber Ducky shower curtain with ducky hooks and bought a $5 tension rod at the store and blocked the doorway. It was adorable. Then I put a sofa table in front of it to act as an arrival table. I decorated it with some stuffed duckies and our favors. Favors were small duckies hung from yellow and orange yarn, which we used for a game at the party as people were able to steal other people's duckies if they said the word baby. On the arrival table I also put a basket of envelopes filled with worksheets for guessing baby's statistics. (Guests addressed the envelopes to themselves and these will become the envelopes for Thank You notes.)

The island in the kitchen worked perfectly for a cake and punch table. I tried to make blue raspberry punch so it would look like water and I could float a ducky in it, but at the last minute I could only find lime sherbet, so ducky floated in a pond of green, which was kind of funny. I did the sheet cake in oranges and yellows, of course, sat a ducky on it. The rest of the kitchen was full of finger foods: chips, crackers and cheese, perpperonis, a sandwich wheel, and veggie trays. My dining room table was used for well wishes, put into writing with puff paint on a hoody towel. The family room was packed with chairs, including a special rocking chair for Mommy-to-be which was decorated with ribbon and helium balloons (Thanks Chavon!). I hung a yellow and orange speckled swag over the mantle, which was then decorated with blue and pink ribbon and lots of stuffed and rubber duckies. I used the same fabric to fashion a mock shower curtain to hang in the cavity of the fireplace, and the hearth became the gift table.

We played several games. Don't Say Baby was played throughout the evening as people stole each other's ducky necklace for catching others saying the word baby. We also played Brown Bag BabyShower, which had guests guessing the contents of bags filled with baby items for the letters
B-A-B-Y-S-H-O-W-E-R. The big hit for games was Dirty Diapers which had guests sniffing, poking, - and in Ryan's case, tasting! - the contents of ten dirty diapers filled with melted candy bars to guess which were which. Pregnant Ryan's sniffing skills have definitely been honed and she won with a whopping 9 of 10 correct. Thanks to Carol for the suggestion. Then we played a round of Baby Scattegories, and opened presents. While presents were being opened guests secretly wrote down everything Ryan said when she opened their present; after gifts were opened we all revealed the things she said... in the bedroom on the night of conception. Our absolute favorites were "Look, there are three parts, and they're all so tiny" and the saying she read off a bib "Watch out - these cheeks are loaded!"

Photos forthcoming...

02.23.2003

Welcome to the hotel "Dawn and David". Grin. Yep, houseguests again. Pam and Rob were here for a week this past week. It was really nice to have them here. Pam is my best friend from high school, and considering that we're both on the east coast, we really don't see each other as often as we should. So, when Pam spontaneously called and said they wanted to come for a week, I was thrilled. It was nice to take a break for a week and just play hostess. I love about certain friends that you just know them so well that you don't have to clean up for them or be concerned about the varying degrees of finished on all the house projects. Such is the case with Pam and Rob.

So, we wanted to go wine tasting without driving all the way to Williamsburg for a second day (having just gone there to play tourist and hit the outlets the day before). So, we headed to Knott's Island to visit two wineries that are fairly local. Having never been, my expectations were a little off base. I was thinking a drive through long rows of grape vines, bare and brown with winter, but majestic nonetheless. At the end of this long winding drive, I'd envisioned a plantation style house with a huge room downstairs dimly lit and decorated in deep reds and leather. I imagined little clusters of bars, one for dry red, one for dry white, and one for sweets. I thought it would be not full, but busy. In short, I totally romanticized the experience.

What we got instead was: a short drive through the bare and brown grape vines that would have met with my expectations except for the brevity of the drive. Arrival at a southern white clapboard farmhouse at the end of the lane that had a sign which read, "Honk, Honk for an escort to the winery." So, we honk-honked, waited, felt like fools, and honk-honked again. We were greeted by a dingy baby blue farm pick-up which pulled up behind us followed by about six or eight dogs. A mousy woman rolled down the window and hollered for us to follow her. This we did, braking several times to avoid hitting any of the dogs. We arrived at a similar white clapboard house where we were permitted entry to the tasting room. The tasting room was a shock: smaller than my bedroom, carpeted in office-grade berber, one wall lined with bottled wine, a wooden bar at the end, and a cash register by the door.

Surprised, but containing it well, we followed the woman to the bar. There she distributed dixie cups, put out another filled with crackers, and asked which of the four bottles of wine we wanted to taste. We proceeded to taste all four and then made our purchases. It was an interesting and strange experience, but she did tell us a bit about wine that I didn't know. For instance, about the weather and how rainfall affects the crop and changes the taste of the wines. The more rainfall, the less sweet the wine as the natural sugar of the grapes gets diluted by the water they absorb. I thought that was neat. She also told me that wine continues to age and grow in flavor as it does so, even after it's been bottled. I'd always thought the aging process stopped once the wine was bottled. I'm still not convinced on this last point. wink.

Somewhat disappointed with our wine tasting debut, we wanted to go somewhere really good for dinner. We thank Clay for the recommendation of Bobbywood, which we ultimately settled on. The atmosphere was kind of interesting. They call is casual elegance (which in my past experience has usually meant we're not too good at elegant, so we tacked casual on the description to lower your expectations). Here, there really was a strange mix of casual and elegant. The walls, for instance, are decorated in charicatured images of celebrities and locals and the kitchen is exposed over a half wall and a pizza counter in the rear. Meanwhile, the tables are set in crisp white linens, decked out with contemporary place settings, and the menu (printed on yellow paper) boasts of definitely gourmet food. The food was stupendous. I had the best tuna I've ever eaten in a sauce that was divine. Service was superb, and because dinner was a little more delayed than they prefer, they made our desserts on the house. All of the desserts were magnificent, but the raspberry chocolate cheesecake was singular! Definitely a recommendation I will pass on! Thanks again Clay.

02.13.2003

I put up some preggo pictures of Ryan. Some nudity involved, but all tasteful. (Or, as Sue Cowlbeck IMed me: "Holy Pregnant Porn!")

01.20.2003

Sigh. Relief. Life seems to have wound down again and routine has restored itself. It has felt good over the past week to be able to devote all of my energy to the house. I've just about completed the task of organizing the kitchen cupboards and I think for the most part things 'round the kitchen have found their places. Of course, I can't wait to tear these cupboards apart and replace them with a lighter wood. But wait is what I must and wait is what I do.

Beware - Girly GYN News: So, back in October my thyroid labs came back to the gyn's office with higher levels than expected. This is a common cause of non-ovulation in women. So, Dr. Olds decided my family practitioner should re-evaluate levels to see if medication was in order to counteract. Finally, now after several weeks of "Let's just do the labs one more time to be sure," Dr. Hart has said my levels are normal and it must have only been a fluke. Called Dr. Olds and spoke to Lynette (very nice nurse) who said she thinks we continue with the Clomid from here. Faxing lab results.

In the meantime, my sister-in-law Suzanne has just learned she's pregnant. And of course, very pregnant Ryan has moved in with us. I'm trying very hard to compartmentalize. I do have a role in each of these women's lives and pregnancies, but emotions are very powerful and I'm finding it difficult not to allow myself to withdraw into myself and hide from my own sadness. Optimism begins to elude me while guilt begins suffocating. Damn, am I going to become one of those infertile women who make other women feel guilty for having children? Scary thought, but what's a journal for if I can't be honest.

Thing is I am honestly happy for Ryan and Suzanne. Just having a hard time letting that outweigh my self-pity.

01.17.2003

I'm slowly making progess. The master closet is all-but reassembled. I need to purchase 2 more shelf supports from Home Depot before I can finally complete. But, the upside is: you can now see the master bedroom floor, previously rendered invisible by mad amounts of clothes heaped, piled and strewn about for lack of any place to hang them. Hoorah.

The snow on the ground outside (freshly fallen last night) gives me a new sense of justification over the fact that our Christmas tree is still up. Of course, fleeting nature of snow is likely to jerk me back to reality any moment.

Ryan arrives tonight. :-)

01.15.2003

oh my word. So, I woke up this morning to find a beautiful blanket of snow covering all exterior surfaces. Peaking at it through the window made me smile. Thus began my optimistic and cheerful (shall we say naive?) morning.

As I leave my subdivision I enter the parking lot that has taken over South Independence Blvd. At first I suspect that I am right behind an accident or a breakdown, but after only progressing a third of a mile in ten minutes, I slowly remember that Virginia drivers are thoroughly inept at driving in inclement weather. Nevermind, that it's not even currently snowing - the snow on the ground seems sufficient to threaten the weak veil of confidence that Virginia drivers have in their abilities.

Resisting all urge to drive onto the grassy median and cruise the 4 miles to Independence Blvd, I roll down my window and try to concentrate on any lingering elements of Zen Buddhism that might be rolling around from various courses or literature. I'm failing, though not miserably. After 83 minutes of driving, I arrive at my doctor's office one hour and 5 minutes late for my appointment.

Having heard on the radio for the past hour and a half how bad the traffic on all highways and secondary roads was, I did not expect to have my appointment cancelled by my tardiness - after all, everyone was going to be late today. After it becomes obvious to the front desk clerk that I simply am not going to settle for rescheduling (especially since all the Dr has to do is draw blood), she sees me to an examining room. Here I'm met by a nurse who puts a thermometer in my mouth and then proceeds to ask in an annoyed voice why I am late. As if I can answer with my mouth full of plastic! As if it should make one bit of difference to her! So, I explain the traffic and the 83 minute 8 mile drive. I then sit incredulous as she tells me point blank that she doesn't believe me. Apparently, she lives nearby and was able to leave her house this morning at 6:30 and get to work in 20 minutes.

Well, yippee-ei-o for you Nurse Porshe. Did it occur to you that it might be because no one else is on the road that early? But I do not say this. I fight the growing urge to retort and console myself with the fact that I am the bigger person in the situation. Funny how that's really such a little consolation.

01.13.2003

Summary of the last month:
Chris came. Chris stayed. Chris Conquered.

It was a bit more of an endeavor to attempt that many houseguests with the house in the state that it was. And although we pulled through okay and I think everyone had a good time, I think I may have developed an ulcer in the meantime. Needless to say, since the last houseguest left on the 3rd, I have been trying dutifully to hide from the world and recover. To little avail: my trip to Toledo, OH last week to train 35 new users came rather too quickly on the heels of the overpacked holiday season; arrived home Friday night; enjoyed one day of solitary enjoyment before babysitting on Sunday and then going back to the office today. The remainder of the week will be spent trying to put my house back in some kind of tangible order before Friday when Ryan will be moving in with me.

Yes, you read right. Ryan is moving in on Friday. Danny is finally (as in after long since being told many times over, and not as in "at long last, I'm rid of him"...) being deployed. I'm excited to have Ryan back - I've missed her a lot. But I would be equally happy if she weren't coming until February - no offense, Ryan.

So, I'm confident that any day now, life is going to slow down and I will actually get to take part in it rather than just preparing for the next day of it. In the mean time, I am trying to maintain a peaceful calm within myself and not give in to the anxious festering of an overactive mind.

To all I've not made sufficient time for, I am truly sorry. I only hope there is some consolation in the fact that I've not taken time for myself either.

Happy New Year to all!

12.11.2002

My brother, Chris arrives tonight, which is a bit of a shock. He was supposed to get in on Friday. He's taking a three-day bus trip from SD to be with us for Christmas - now that's love! I'm excited for him to get here - secretly he loves Christmas festivities, but on the outside he's a Grinch. I've got the fireplace cranked up high so I'm sure those icicles around his Christmas spirit will melt within a few minutes of walking in the door. :-)

I've had to give up my quest for perfection and realize that yes, we did just move in, but we also LIVE here. Life must go on, even if the painting isn't done and the final touches on the house are far from complete. So in that vein, we are having houseguests regardless of the condition of the house. It will be a full house soon. Chris will be with us for three weeks. Ryan and Danny arrive tomorrow for two weeks. And next weekend we'll be joined by my step-sister Karin and her boyfriend Lance as well as Ryan's highschool friend George and her boyfriend, David.

I'm excited. I love a full house.

P.S.> Another good band: Jo Serrapere and the Willie Dunns. Check 'em out on mp3.com.

12.08.2002

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Melissa! I hope your having a blast and Carl is treating you good! :-)

11.21.2002

Ack! Still no photos. I know I need to get them up. Don't hold it against me while I procrastinate. We're headed to Florida tomorrow for our Thanksgiving vacation. I'm excited to get to see family. Suzanne and Ryan, et al, are really the only family we generally see, so it will be nice to spend some time with Dave's parents and Katheryn. I'm sure we'll also get to see Aunt Becky and co, and Grammy. Maybe I'll even get to meet Uncle John. Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, a little early since I won't likely be updating from FL.

Oh! I found this great artist today, but she's proved to be very elusive. Her name is Annie Ross, and she's a 50s-era jazz and vocalese artist, but I can't find anything downloadable except Twisted. In fact, this is the song that first got me looking for her. It is the opening song on the soundtrack for Deconstructing Harry, a Woody Allen movie that was actually pretty funny. In case it's not obvious, I'm not generally a Woody Allen fan - his films would be great if he'd just stay out of them, but that's a different post. As for Annie Ross, if anyone knows where I can download some of her stuff, do pass it on.

11.15.2002

Whew! My computer is back up. Sorry for the long silence. We took the computers down so the installers could carpet, but even before that Dave put an embargo on my online time until the painting was all done. Rightfully so. I do have the tendency to get wrapped up. So, the painting of the top floor is DONE. Well, ...done - not counting touch ups that will be necessary after the carpet was installed. Which brings me to important fact number two: the carpet is installed upstairs!! So, we now have a painted, carpeted home. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy! We worked like dogs to get it done on time. As always I pushed the envelope on the deadline, so Dave was still up at 4 am painting the night before the carpet went in. I, on the other hand, pooped out around 2:30. Really, I have to hand it to Dave; he worked so hard and was sweet to me and upbeat while doing it. I love being married to that kid. :-)

Tomorrow I will upload pictures. Today, you have to settle for descriptions.

Master Bedroom: Two walls are painted in a shade called Green Tea, which is a soft sagey color. The reamining four walls (yes, the room does have six walls) and the interior of the closet are painted Swiss Coffee, which is a shade of white. The master bath is not yet painted.
Guest Room: The far wall when you walk into the room is a dark purply blue color called Provence while the other three walls and the interior of the closet is called Crystal and is a lighter shade of blue/purple which looks kinda periwinkle or lavendar or a marriage of the two.
Office: Ryan picked the colors for this room and after some initial hesitation, I agreed. Dave wasn't present for this decision because we made it so late in the game that one of us needed to be at home painting while the other was shopping. Anyway, Ryan chose a pretty brown called Dusty Canyon for one wall and a cool taupey color called Chino for the remaining three walls and interior of the walk in closet. Chino really does look like the color of chino khaki pants, which looks GREAT with the darker brown.
Hallway: The bulk of the hallway and stairwell is painted in Coconut milk, which is a creamy ever-so-slightly pinky-peach-white, which sounds disgusting until you see it. Then the halfwall that blocks the stairs is painted a deep red color called Scarlet Fever. That is, in fact, the only wall that still needs a few coats. Apparently, the darker the color, the more coats it needs in order to avoid streakiness.
Hall Bath: This room remains undone because we didn't want to have two baths under construction at the same time; so it is still the ugly vibrant sky blue including the ceiling. What can I say, the people who owned it before us had no taste. :-P
Nursery: We will wallpaper the nursery because the walls in there are not in great shape. Plus, painting a mural seems like daunting work, especially on patterned walls. There's no extreme hurry there. I just have to have it done by March for Ryan's little bambino.

The carpeting is the same in all rooms, and is very similar to what we had installed in the old living room at Scenic. It's a white berber with flecks of brown, rust, and grey. It really picks up all the colors in all the rooms wonderfully. I was especially worried about the guest room because the colors are so blue in there, but the carpet works great. The walls pick up the grey in the carpet and give the illusion of blue flecks which works perfectly. So, in all we are extremely satisfied and extremely relieved! Now we're on to the task of getting the furniture upstairs.

11.04.2002

Suzanne and I had a good trip. Suzanne played the movie game with me during most of the trip down. I like playing with her better than with Dave because she keeps asking questions and doesn't give up. It was really good to see Ryan. She's so cute with her little pregnant belly and her BIG pregnant demands. I suppose she deserves to be pampered a bit, but boy, that Danny sure is good to her. She is 16 weeks pregnant and she has only cooked ONCE since she has been pregnant. (To her credit I should say that she has been incredibly nauseas and has been on prescription meds for it since the 3^rd or 4^th week of her pregnancy, but that doesn't save her from getting ribbed by me!)

Suzanne got her hair cut like Ryan's, but longer. It's really cute. Lots of long layers and curly. I don't have any pics though!! I'll try to get some up soon.

Dave is such a good husband. He did SO MUCH work while we were away. Lots of painting and the light at the end of the tunnel is becoming visible. Thanks Honey. I love you. I can't wait until it's all done!

11.01.2002

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Kristen! I'm thinking of you and wishing I was there to take you out and get your mind on celebrating. I hope someone else in Vegas is up for the job! Have fun, honey!

Halloween was a hit! Mikey was pooped after about ten houses, which was perfect because so were Suzanne and I. He was cute though; he really got the hang of going up to people's houses and knocking. Seems like he knew to go to the ones that had lights on. Of course, he wanted to eat all of the candy straight-away, so that was a bit of a battle, but we got past it. The sugar must have gave him a rush because that little stinker stayed up til 10pm while the adults watched Halloween 3 (? - I think; the one with the magic masks).

Today Suzanne and I are headed down to NC to visit Ryan and Danny. It looks as if Danny is going to be deployed any time now. They've been told not to make holiday plans and to store their vehicles. So, Suzanne is going to drive Danny's car back, since I can't drive stick. Ryan will be coming to live with David and I whenever Danny does get deployed, so it looks as if she'll have the baby here. I miss her, so I'm glad she'll be with me, but it stinks that Danny won't get to be there for the birth. I'm sure he's very sad about it.

10.31.2002

Wowsers, I've been neglecting this place, huh? Well, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Mikey's coming over and we're gonna take him trick-or-treating. He's 18 months old, so this will be the first Halloween for him when he's aware of what's happening. He's going to be a little bear. Very CUTE! His nickname is Little Bear, so it's perfect! We're also handing out candy, which should be fun. We've been ready in the old house for years, but no one ever came around...

10.20.2002

They're here!!! And they're working on my bathroom! (They = the contracters, who btw, are very nice and very helpful and I would recommend to anyone.) Here are pics from yesterday after they finished the demo work.

Hard to tell what you're looking at I realize, but it's very cool! More pics to come...

10.20.2002

David and I have a magnet on our refrigerator that has a cartoon guy making various faces and one word emotional descriptions below: disgusted, ecstatic, discouraged, overwhelmed, lovestruck, content, etc... This is a tool I recommend to anyone working on a house! It seems our moods both change on the drop of a hat these days. Finding Home Depot out of stock on paint trays is enough to send one of us from contented optimism to discouraged misery. Today Home Depot was out of the faucets we selected for the master sinks, vanity countertops, and towel racks. We did however get the last toilet bowl seat and a discount on an open-box faucet set that one of the salespeople found.

Imagine the emotional roller-coaster ride this single trip to Home Depot provided. Then imagine driving across town to Lowe's to get the items that HD didn't have, realizing as you park that you forgot your 10% off coupon, sending hubby to get it, only to go into the store and find that they are out of stock on the same items. It is for this reason that we have magnets with faces and web-logs. Having documented this for posterity, I now feel refreshed enough to paint trim: coat 6 over the dark colonial trim to be precise...

10.19.2002

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY Deana! Have a blast; live it up; it's only this exciting once. It's all downhill from there. LOL - kidding of course.

10.13.2002

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jeddie! Hope you're celebrating in style. I ate a piece of cheesecake on your behalf!

10.12.2002

Well , today I feel really accomplished. We carted the rest of the carpet to the city dump. That's seven rolls worth of dog-and-cat-urine drenched carpet plus padding that passed through our hands four times now (tearing up, carting downstairs to garage, loading into truck, dumping out of truck). ICK! But it's done!

Then the truck got a much-deserved washing. We even took the cap off to clean out the bed - even under the mat! Vaccuumed, washed the interior with Armor All and treated the cloth interior with Frebreze. That's the first such washing in the four years we've owned him. :-)

On the homefront, we hired a contractor to do our bathroom work; now we need to buy the tub, countertop, and sinks so he can get them all installed. We'll tile that room later. Then we'll be able to carpet the upstairs. And then, at long last, we'll be able to move our furniture upstairs! oh wait, we gotta paint first. I knew that seemed too easy.

10.06.2002

Yaaaayy! We're moved! We spent last weekend with the help of Tres and Mike (many thanks!) getting the furniture and boxes moved over to the new place. Everything is moved into the downstairs for now in a rather unorganized fashion. We haven't yet carpeted or painted the upstairs and didn't see the point in moving stuff up just to have to move it back down when it comes time for that. So for now, we feel like we're camping in our own house.

We did get the hot water turned on finally! A week or so of cold showers was definitely enough to make me appreciate the Virginia Natural Gas Co. Though it did harken back to our honeymoon, which you may know we spent in mts of Virginia in a cabin without plumbing - showers consisted of "goosing ourselves" by pouring ice cold spring water over our heads, soaping up and then repeating. So the week of cold showers at least brought some pleasant memories.

In other news, (skip if you don't want to hear my female updates), Dave and I are stepping up our attempts to have a baby. After two years with no success, I've decided it's time to move to the next step. The doctor did an endomytrial biopsy, which ages the cells inside the uterus to determine which day of my monthly cycle I am on; then based on when I had my last menstraul period they can determine whether or not my body is ovulating early, late, or not at all. I fall in the not at all category. So, the doctor prescribed a week of Prometrium, which just forces a period. On the third day of which, I am due for some labs that are supposed to rule out early menopause. Then I am starting a five day stint on Clomed, a drug that induces ovulation. So, we shall see, huh?

10.05.2002

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Karin!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Aunt Jeanie!

09.24.2002

Isn't irony great? I own two houses, and I've never felt more like I live out of my car than I have in the past two weeks. So, we're making progress on the new house, though it's slower going than I'd like. We have stripped all wallpaper; torn out all carpet; bleached and primed the entire upstairs and half of the downstairs. We now need to install carpeting and pick our colors and paint. The problem is I can't find carpet I want and I can't make up my mind on colors. LOL.

Time's ticking though, and the tenants take over Scenic Blvd a week from today, so ready or not, here we come. We're going to move all of our stuff into two rooms nad the garage and then camp out in the family room while we continue to work on the upstairs. When we finish, we'll move our stuff up and begin on the downstairs. At this rate, we should be done by Christmas. (Next Christmas, that is.)

So, in completely different news, Ryan is pregnant. Can you believe my little baby sister is having a baby of her own? Some of you may know this already, and I hope she doesn't mind me posting it here. (I'll take it down if you want, Ry.) So, baby sister is nauseated and yucky. If she were here I would take care of her, but I hear Danny is being a very patient and loving husband, so that's good. I need to try to get down there for the weekend and see her. Yikes! When? Suzanne said she and Michael would go down with me for a weekend. That would be fun. Now I just have to get over the guilty feeling of skipping out on Dave while he works on the house. That shouldn't be TOO hard. (devilish grin!)

09.11.2002

Aaahh. A bit of a breather. I decided that I deserved that today. The past week has been non-stop between the finding of the tenants and then trying to get the new house in order. It looks like we're shooting to move in on October 1st. This week has been spent cleaning (even after hiring a two-person cleaning team for three hours, the house STILL requires lots of cleaning!) and stripping wallpaper. I'm telling you, the ugliest wallpapers were combined in this house. I'll try to upload some pics so you can feel my pain. It's also chaotic trying to get estimates on the construction work that we want done. We want to take out a few walls, have the bathroom remodeled, add some windows, etc. I feel like I haven't stopped in days.

So, I decided to spend the day at home today, slowly cleaning things here that have fallen by the wayside in the midst of all our chaos. It feels good to slow down. It's a good day for it too. The anniversary of the terrorist attacks last year is a day of quiet reflection for me. It's not something I want or feel I need to share publicly.

09.08.2002

Brief Update: We did get our house rented! Woo-Hoo! In fact the tenants are coming to sign the lease and make the deposit tonight. I feel good about it.

The rental screening was tedious and a bit taxing on the heartstrings. Partly I feel as if we are all given opportunities to give back. For instance, many of the people who applied for the house were people trying to rebuild their lives after divorce or after credit problems, or people on a fixed income, etc. In reviewing the material, I felt it was an opportunity to give to people less fortunate by working withthem in spite of credit difficulties, etc.

But at the same time, while I really wanted to be big-hearted enough to do that, I was just too scared. It is, after all, very hard to get an eviction notice in the state of Virginia. Ultimately, we selected a young couple, about to have a baby, and lowered the rent a bit to accomodate their needs. I feel good about it, like I am helping people at the same time as protecting our investment.

Oh and by the way, if you're looking for exposure, placing an ad in the Pilot is definitely the way to do it. Our ad ran for 4 days, and in after only two days running we saw over 75 families. That's not counting the phone inquiries that didn't schedule an appointment. The ad still runs tomorrow, so the phone calls are still pouring in. It nuts! The good kind.

08.24.2002

David and I closed on our house last night. Things have been utter chaos. It turns out, as we found out two days ago, that the current owners will be vacating in a week. They were supposed to be renting back from us until mid-October. This came as a shock and has thown us into a frenzy. That means we have little time to get our house rented, get packed up, etc. I'm sure it will all work out, but in the mean time, it is very frustrating. So, I won't be updating much in the month of September. Life will just be too busy.

08.24.2002

I have Michael for the weekend. I'm trying to teach him his nose. So, I play this game where I sing a funny song that has the word nose in it about 80 times, and each time I say it I touch his or my nose. He doesn't quite understand yet, but he's getting there. He comes up and touches my nose and waits for me to sing the song and then laughs hysterically. He thinks the funniest part is to stick his finger IN my nose. Gross, I know, so I'll spare you any photos of what he might have found. LOL.

I'm learning to crochet. Melissa is teaching me. (Sorry, no photo. She has this internet-photo phobia. Gee, I wonder why?) I've learned two stitches so far and I'm a total klutz at both of them, but she assures me that it will start to look like a blanket if I keep at it. So, I crocheted while putting Michael to sleep tonight. Makes me nostagic about my mother.

I'm still updating the gallery, so keep checking back. You'll find a few photos in there now and more to come. It's very motivating. I have tons of photos I've taken, but since I have no photo printer, I never seem to carry them all the way through to post-processing (sharpening, cropping, tweaking, etc.) The gallery has given me a purpose, but it is all so time consuming. So be patient with me.

08.21.2002

Okay, so I admitted it was an addiction. I thought I wouldn't get around to updating the Photos section for a week or so, but I put the structure in place tonight. The only thing missing now are the photos themselves. Those will appear here and there. I have the couple I submitted under the dpchallenge area, but the others are all empty. I'm going to try to sort through my collection ans see what I want to upload for those. That will take some time. Check back often.

08.21.2002

My newest addiction: dpchallenge. It's a great web-site run by Langdon, one of Dave's co-workers. It's a digital photography weekly contest. Each week a challenge is announced and you have a week to take and submit a photo that meets the challenge. While people are submitting for the current week's challenge, everyone votes on last weeks anonymous entries, and the results from the challenge that was voted on in the previous week is announced. So it's a cycle. It's great. You get the opportunity to really improve your technique because everyone offers free feed-back.

I'm going to seperate the Photos section of my site into a Gallery and Snapshots. I'll display my weekly dpchallenge submissions and outtakes in a designated section of the gallery. That's a coming soon. I probably won't get around to it for a week or so.

08.15.2002

I updated the News section today. I assure there's really nothing to update on this page, as I've spent the last three days doing laundry and ironing. I have this compulsive need to iron each article that comes out of the dryer except socks and underwear. Yes, I iron the wash-clothes; yes, I iron the pillow cases and sheets; and yes, I iron the napkins. It's a disease. But I did watch X-Men yesterday while ironing. I got the DVD for Christmas from my brother and have been avoiding watching it ever since, but with lack of anything better to fill the time, I put it in. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Don't get me wrong, it's not a brilliant movie, but it passes muster. I would say is is just about the same quality as most superhero movies. So, pleasantly surprised, thank you Chris.

08.14.2002

Nothing interesting happening today, but I did update the Literature and Philosophy sections.

08.11.2002

Wow. Our party last night went off in grand style. The house was decorated in a manner befitting a speakeasy (minus the sawdust on the floor. Some things are simply too much to ask!) I arranged the furniture in the living room so seating was in small groups, each group with a small table decked out with casino cards, poker chips, dice, appetizers, coasters. The lamps were draped in scarves to dim the lighting. And as many anachronistic items as could be removed were. Since nearly everything we own is anachronistic, guests were required to suspend disbelief to some degree. The photos make the room seem much more lit than it was, but then "dems da breaks." (You can see the photos by choosing Photos from the drop down list above.)

The food was perfect. Everyone raved, which of course, made me feel great! My favorite thing about it was the way I set it up. I got the idea on Oprah (I know! I actually watched a tv show and learned something from it.); the woman she interviewed is a big hostess and showed how to create a buffet table that looks great. The secret is to put different sized pots upside down on the serving area (for me, my large island) creating different levels of height. Then you drape a big cloth over it (for me, a big paisley sheet covered by a lace curtain) which creates an elegant serving area that doesn't look like plates on a counter. It was great. Alas, I forgot to get a photo of this.

The costumes were fabulous. Everyone had fun really creating their characters through their clothes and accessories right down to Christian's walking stick and Pattie's three-mile pearl necklace. Although, I might add that the feather boas molted all over the house, and we're still finding feathers. The accents were fun. Luckily my character grew up in New York (as did I), so I didn't have too far of a stretch, although I tried to add some Betty Boop to my voice. Really I was a little nervous about the accents -- not too sure everyone would wanna do 'em, and not wanting to be the only one. But we jumped in with them from the start and figured we could let them die if no one else used one. No need. Everyone did, which really added to the fun of establishing you character.

In speakeasy style, we didn't openly admit that we were drinking, but rather referred to the well-stocked medicine cabinet. David had lots of fun coming up with fake labels for the booze and we all agreed that if any copper raided our place and tasted one of our martinis he'd have agreed it tasted like mouthwash. I think all of the men, and a few of the women tasted a martini, some for the first time. Dave acted as bartender and made the martinis as ordered: dry, sweet, or dirty. I discovered that the highball is actually a tolerable drink, and had one with each of the four rounds. All of our recipes came from WebTender.

08.08.2002

Saturday is approaching fast. That is the evening of the murder mystery party David and I are hosting. It takes place in a 1920's speakeasy. We're all dressing up as flappers and gangsters. I've been working all week to get the house arranged to somewhat resemble a 20's speakeasy. That's not so easy as it might sound.

I'm also working away at my menu. I'm serving leg of lamb (never cooked it before -- I hope like hell it turns out!), ratatouille, and some other meat dish for those who don't want lamb (myself included). Oh, and of course, high balls and martinis, bathtub gin, and plenty of hootch.

My role is a street beat reporter girl who does what it takes to get the scoop. I'm hoping that will allow me to clandestinely take some photos without getting caught.

08.01.2002

I finally uploaded photos of Ryan and Danny's wedding. Take a peek. Hopefully, I'll get to the Canada vacation ones soon. It's so darned time consuming.

07.26.2002

I'm onto a new method of torture. Resolution 640x480; Color Limitation: 16; Modem: not functioning. I can speak to the effectiveness of this particular method of torture, having just undergone a bout that lasted for several days. Side effects: mental breakdown, short temper, loss of sleep, indentation to computer tower where foot may collide with box repeatedly, ...shall I go on?

So, yes, we reformatted our hard drive (long overdue) without backing modem or video adapter drivers. After much delirium, we are now functioning normally. (Thank you, Adam.)

Below are my thoughts on Amelie, which weren't uploaded yesterday for obvious reasons.

Oh, and most importantly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Ryan and Danny! Hope you guys are doing something exciting.

07.25.2002

I picked up Amelie because I knew David wanted to see it. Honestly, I was not very excited about the prospect at all, having seen two other movies by the director - hating one of them (City of Lost Children) and mildly liking the other (Delicatessen). But I got it, because Dave's always doing sweet things for me, so I have to take advantage when an opportunity to be thoughtful presents itself. (I'm not always so good at that.)

So, we start watching Amelie and within the first five minutes, I'm in love with the film. It is whimsical and happy; the humor is dry and very successful; the colors are vibrant. All this in the first five minutes did much to counter my preconceived ideas of the director's genre. The story itself focuses on Amelie, an introverted girl in the process of discovering herself. What's great about the character is not only the sense of justice she acts on, but the fact that she watches. She notices the world around her in a way that many of us don't. She lives in the little moments: she smells her food and appreciates it, she skips when she walks; she listens when people talk.

The story is rich, well-developed with interesting characters who have a realness to them. The filming is beautiful - the color jumping off the screen, enhanced in such a way that makes you feel like you've shared in some of Amelie's magic. The acting is terrific; truly brilliant. So, I'm surprised to say that a Jean-Pierre Jeunot picture actually made it to my top 25 list. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like it. It's definitely one I would buy, and it may climb even higher than top 25.

07.23.2002

So, we finally went grocery shopping tonight. I was determined not to buy more than two months worth of groceries, since we'll be moving at some point in October. It may seem like an easy task, but if you consider that my normal shopping trip lasts us four months (not including fresh produce, milk, and eggs), you begin to realize how much I had to scale down. I failed utterly. The thing is, I knew I was overdoing it, but I also knew that my shelves and freezer would look half empty (in fact, they would be half empty) if I didn't shop as usual. Dave thinks is have some kind of obsessive compulsive disorder. Can't normal people like their cans to face frontward too?

Oh yes, and I promised Bruce my thoughts on Amelie today (or was that yesterday...?), but I think I am going to have to cop out and write them up tomorrow. Sorry Bruce. Here's the teaser: definitely in my top 25. More to come.

07.22.2002

My friend Carol has duckies at her house. Apparently the mommmy duck ran off and left some babies. Strange behavior for a mother duck, don't you think? I'm more inclined to think Carol ran the mother duck off so she could keep the cute little duckies. Well, okay, maybe not. But she is keeping them, for a little while anyway. They're living in her house. In my book, that makes Carol a cool mom; when I'm a mom I think I'll keep the strays too. If hubby lets me.

07.16.2002

Whoa! It's been crazy hectic in the Stiller household lately:

First, we just got back from our summer vacation. We spent a week in Canada (Beausejour, which is north of Winnipeg in the province of Manitoba) visiting with the community David grew up in -- people close enough to be considered family. We had a terrific time. It was great because we also got to spend some time with David's parents who live in Florida and his sister Suzanne's family. We see Suzanne and company all the time, but we don't get to see his folks too very often. They brought Leondra, their one year old foster child with them. She and Michael were playmates all week. Very cute!
Then we were off to Lolly and Savannah's wedding in Silva, NC. The wedding itself was awesome. Both brides were beautiful and the ceremony was really neat. They followed the Quaker tradition, everyone seated in a circle, group songs, then 40 minutes of silence during which anyone who wanted to could offer words, poems, songs, and during which the couple said their vows. I have to really give props to both Lolly and Savannah for their vows, which they wrote themselves, and which were profoundly heartwarming. The whole wedding was really very beautiful. It was followed by an outdoor reception on Savannah's parents' tree farm. There was a bluegrass band and contra dancing. It was terrific. Getting there, well that's another story -- one as long and twisted as the mountain roads we had to follow!
We came home on the 14th (my birthday!) and tried to settle in quietly at home, but were greeted with a slew of pressing issues including but not limited to: 1) No water to the house apparently due to some problem with our well pump. STILL NOT FIXED. Silent scream. 2) Having bought a house the day before we left town, we had loan paperwork and a home inspection which need immediate attention. 3) Despite the lack of rain while we were gone, the grass did manage to reach 18 inches! 4) This guy took up residence outside our bathroom window. He's about 3.5 inches long, leg to leg. His body alone is an inch long. shudder.

So, in the hubbub of getting all these things in order, I've neglected my website. I will try to stay on top of keeping it updated, and we'll see what happens. In the mean time, here's a photo of the new house:

07.02.2002

Whoa! We bought a house. Boy that happened suddenly, huh? Now think how I feel. I'm the one with the big debt! LOL. It's been an emotional roller coaster of a day, and to top it off, there's no time to sit and compose my thoughts.

The stats: 2 story, 4 bdrm, 2.5 baths, formal living and dining, deck, fenced backyard, landscaped, 2100 sq. ft., $138K. Rock Creek subdivision, Virginia Beach.

Closing: August 30th; Moving: October 15th. The owners will rent from us Sept 1- Oct 15.

Emotions: Excited, scared, overwhelmed, tired, satisfied.

Needed asap: potential renters for our current home. 3 bdrm, 1 bath, 1/2 acre yard, deck, Great Bridge Schools, $800/mo. References and credit check required. Spread the word.

07.01.2002

We did it! It was great; we went up and spent an hour in the air, most of which was piloted by David. Our pilot, Andy, got us safely into the air and then turned to David and asked if he was ready to take it, which he did with relative ease. Really, I have to admit David was pretty good at it. In fact, when the whole thing was over, I had to ask him whether Andy had let him drive at all. (The flight center said he would probably get to try it out for a few minutes.) So, Dave laughed and explain that he was the pilot most of the time.

While we were in the air, I was a little nervous that David might be disappointed because we didn't seem to be doing much sight seeing -- this was supposed to be a sight seeing tour after all. This was before I knew that Dave was primarily at the wheel. Er, ...rudder? So, we didn't see much of the city, but David seemed to have a blast just getting to pilot the plane. He's been casually mentioning the relative inexpense of flight school and how cheap it would make flying. LOL. I'm not fooled for a minute.

Unfortunately Skyler didn't get to go with us. Noah and Tiffany had been rearranging their schedule to make it happen all next week and couldn't get out of a family obligation tonight. ANdy said he'd have let him sit up front for a while and play with the controls. That part would have been cool, but honestly, I wonder if he wouldn't have been bored for most of the flight. We flew over lots of trees and landscapes what were pretty monotonous. So, (wink) maybe when Dave gets his pilot's license Skyler can go up with us.

07.01.2002

So, we didn't get to go up in the aiplane yet. We were supposed to go Wednesday, on Dave's actual birthday, but threats of thunderstorms delayed it until the following day. Thursday came and went with more unhappy weather, and the weekend was out because we drove down to NC to see my mom. So, it's tonight - bad weather be damned.

Poor Skyler's never going to learn the meaning to the word "tomorrow"; we keep telling him, "Tomorrow you get to go on the airplane," only to repeat the same sentiment the next day. Tiffany says he looks at her and says, shaking his head, "Today is tomorrow." Poor guy's going to grow up thinking tomorrow is just the world's joke at his expense.

06.26.2002

Today's my honey's birthday! I got him a really cool gift: a one-hour in-air flight lesson/sightseeing tour. They take you up in a Cessna 172 (that's a four seater) and show you around the normal sights and whatever else you want to see. While you're up there they give you a crash course -- hmmm, perhaps not the best choice of language -- ahem, they teach you the very basics on flight and let you take over the controls. It's through Mercury Flight Center, whose name we got from the Hampton Roads Executive Airport, which is where we'll take off from.

I'm really excited. We're hoping to take Skyler up with us. Skyler, for those who don't know him is the four year old son of our friends Noah and Tiffany. He adores Dave, so I think he'll have a blast flying in the plane with him and I know his delight will just thrill David.

06.25.2002

I've been a busy little bee recently. I've been out house-hunting with Donna some more. We looked down in Moyock, NC at a beautiful development called Eagle Creek. I fell in love. Interestingly, when I took Dave later he did not. He shocked me actually and I think I learned a little more about him. It felt too ritzy for him. He thought living there would create an image for him that he didn't really want. He doesn't want his house to be a status symbol. All of that was interesting to me -- it took me off gaurd because I just approach it differently. I just want all the house I can get for my money and don't care much what it makes other people think - favorably or unfavorably. So, as we approach our fourth anniversary we still learn about each other. Isn't marriage great?

As it turns out, Eagle Creek would have been eliminated as an option shortly thereafter anyway because in researching the details of moving to NC we found that we would have to budget $150 extra each month for incidental things that we either don't pay at all here or that cost more there: car insurance, trash pick-up, water, tolls, etc. That means $150 less available for mortgage. C'est la vie.

06.24.2002

David and I drove up to Richmond to spend Saturday at the Old Dominion State Kite Competition. We didn't compete -- LOL at the thought! We went to watch and to hang out with Bruce who has been really into kites for a while now. A little background: Bruce is Dave's best friend from high school and was our roommate for a long time before we got married. When I say he flies kites, I do not mean the $2-plastic-on-a-string jobs you can get at Wal-Mart. We're talking expensive stunt kites that these people do amazing things with -- and make it look easy I might add. Bruce even has some that I'm not allowed to fly because they would carry me away. (Truth be known: I'm very big and strong and powerful and not intimidated by a 9-foot nylon kite, but Bruce hasn't realized it yet. From the outside I look little and puny and weak. Boy can't looks be deceiving.)

After the competition, we went to the awards banquet and kite auction. Against David's better judgement, I got a bidder number because I love auctions and wanted to bid. Mind you, I didn't want to win -- just to bid. Dave gave me a stern look, and let me have my way. Early on I did a good job bidding on items right after the opening bid, knowing I would be outbid each time. But at the end of the evening, I got excitied and bid twice, and no one outbid me. So I ended up with a $25 stunt kite. Not a bad purchase, but also not within the agreement I made with Dave when I picked up my bidder stick. (Dawn looks up though her eyelashes with a sheepish guilty smile and hopes to wile her way out of trouble.) So anyone who would like to go kite-flying, give me a call.

06.18.2002

My baby sister, Ryan, got married this past weekend.
It was a very small quiet ceremony to make their relationship legal and official before her husband is deployed. I'm happy for both Ryan and Danny, but as big sister (and therefore advisor, mother, teacher, nurse, bank, and boss) I worry. It can't be helped. I think I have the first tickle of what it must be like for parents to try to let go of their children. I hope for what's very best for her, and now I find myself having to step back and let her discover that for herself rather than leading her one way or another.

For their marriage I hope the same things I'm sure the people who love me hoped for me: that their love will remain strong and that they will grow together as they grow, that they will learn to consider their spouse as easily as they consider themselves, and that they compromise when they come across differences. Perhaps most importantly, I hope that they realize a good marriage takes work and that it is worth it to work hard to make it work.

06.13.2002

Yaaaayyyy. I did it. And I survived! I went running. Something I've been thinking of doing for a while, but have been letting myself off the hook on. After my coffee date with Melissa last night I felt inspired to begin. I ran for 15 minutes, was winded, and power walked back 20 minutes. I'm such a better walker than I am a runner. (Lazy justification for not challenging myself.) So, my goal (starting small) is to be able to run the length of Parker Road and back. I'm not sure how long that is, but it's a ways off for me. I probably went 1/3 of the way today, but then I walked back. Still, I'm damned proud of myself.

My body has that good tingly feeling I get when I work in the yard, my face is bright red, and for the first time in a very long time it doesn't feel icky to sweat. that said, the shower is calling my name.

06.12.2002

Boy, I had some good news today. David and I are looking at the possibility of buying a new home. The hesitation comes in when you consider that our land value on our current home is likely to spike in the next year or two when they put in a new subdivision behind us. The lots are to be identical in proportion to ours, but the lots (not including the house) will be sold for exactly double what ours is currently valued at! So, while we do want a bigger, nicer house, we would kick ourselves if we sold this one and lost out on a potentially 20-50K equity hike.

So, our next idea was buy a new house without selling this one. That is, rent this one out to tenants for a few years. Sure, that's risky, but I figure if we put away the extra income from the rental property, repairs and things won't take us too much by surprise -- and it's worth it for the equity we'd be getting in the long run. So, that sounded great until our real estate agent thought we might not be allowed to do that under our current loan, meaning we'd have to refinance. Refinancing was certainly an option, but not one we were thrilled with.

And here comes the good news: a call today to my current mortgage company informed me that we are allowed to rent under the current loan we have, and they are happy to send me that in writing along with a list of easy to meet stipulations. So then, as soon as we find a house of our dreams in our price range, we're all set to rent this one out. Of course we have to find a reliable renter..., but I'm confident. Excited even. I have to talk with Bob and Chris though. I'm sure they'll have some insight we haven't considered. Still it feels good to be moving in some direction or other.

06.04.2002

I just had an exercise in stillness. While leaning against a tree to rest a moment from my yard work and to consider how to turn a shady spot in my yard into a haven for reading or thinking, a bird landed about 4 feet away from me. I was mesmerized. Such a tiny creature, and I wished I could touch her, feel her heart beat. Knowing better, I just paused, tried to be perfectly still, and watched. About two minutes went by, but it could have passed as an hour for me. After about 20 seconds the bird realized I was there; the next minute and a half was like a dance. She apparently wanted to pick seeds from my pile of brush - too close for comfort. She flew into a nearby tree branch, then back down, a little closer; then a series of ryhthmic steps involving a few hops my way, a lengthy pause to check me for signs of movement, a step away, and a few hops closer again.

She was an brown bird with a burnt orange breast and a very dark beak, comparable in size to a cardinal. There is so much stuff I wish I knew. Really, if only I'd known in grade school and through high school that later I would really thirst for knowledge of the things we were studying at the time, I might have made a more concentrated effort. But that's not any great epiphany, just the old cliche: if I knew then what I know now...

Well, without any knowledge of who she was, she remains to me a nameless beauty.

06.03.2002

The driveway is finished. I think it looks good. I'm going to plant around the sides and I think it will look even better then. Here's a photo:

06.03.2002

It's 7:40 this morning. The guy from Allen Paving just called. They're coming over to do my driveway today. Yipee! One more project down. Of course, that means my excuses for procrastinating on my flower beds are really disappearing fast. Sometimes I have to convince myself that I'm not just waiting for someone to call my bluff. I am going to put in flower beds. Damn it.

So, we went with crush and run. We didn't want to spend the money to put in concrete and I don't care much for the way asphalt looks. Ha! They have this new thing with asphalt where they can imprint it and have it colored to look and feel like brick or flagstone or whatever. I thought, "How Cool!" So, I call up only to find that it cost even more than putting in brick or flagstone. That's too funny to me -- paying more for an imitation. But, after much discussion, procrastination, discussion, and discussion, we decided that crush and run will give a good "intentional" look without the cost. Especially since we can't seem to decide whether we want to sell right now, it seemed like the best compromise. I'll have to post pictures when it's done.

Here's a before pic (pretend that you do not see the disrepair of the existing flower bed or the overt need for more beds):

05.25.2002

So, I've decided to finally make my own webpage - really just a place to maintain and organize my thoughts. I called it Possibilities because that's what life is really all about. I think having the site will be good for me; it will stimulate me to really set aside some time to reflect on life and on the things that are meaningful to me. It's easy to let yourself off the hook on that one, and for me, the structure will keep me on my toes.

I've chosen the categories for different reasons:

At Home will be a place to discuss day to day activities or projects.
Philosophy is my favorite topic for reflection and for conversation, so I thought it appropriate to have a separate area for those ideas.
Literature is a must. I love you read and, believe it or not, I miss book reports! I think books give us such a wealth of material to reflect on, so I definitely needed a place to record my thoughts on what I'm reading.
The News will definitely be my biggest chore. I do not keep up with current events. I mean, I REALLY don't know what's going on. I used to say I would have been the only fair juror on the OJ Simpson trial because I knew nothing about it. Part of me thinks "Why watch the news? It's all depressing." But then I think about history and I wonder what people at the time thought about the things that were happening around them that became a part of history. Of course, the news of today is the history of tomorrow, so I thought I should make an effort to record my reactions to various tidbits in the news.
Photos is an area that I'd like to post photographs I'm proud of. I've been wanting a darkroom for a long time, but since we realize that it's not going to happen in this house, I've finally bought a digital camera so I can start taking photos again.

I won't update each page every day. I 'll just add my thoughts as I have them, and we'll see what becomes of this site.